My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Girls should come with a carfax report
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
