you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
