A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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