Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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