this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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