Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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