You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
