and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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