DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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