Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize