Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
