don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
