i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
