so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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