I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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