oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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