I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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