there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
and she was petting her beer can
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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