go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
