if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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