tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Someone came in the potted fern
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
