I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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