Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
