I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize