I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize