is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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