Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
