go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
found the other keg... it's in the tree
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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