I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
he shaved USA in his pubs
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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