ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
