She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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