So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize