but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
