capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
