After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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