I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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