glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
