similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
