If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
