And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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