I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
