Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He has the fingertips of a God
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