I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
