On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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