Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
