im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
