Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
