Please, let me fuck your mom
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Randomize
