I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
