I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
