i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The uberlube is also flammable
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
