why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
