You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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