hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Randomize
