Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
