I showed him my bush... on skype.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
