Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I need a beard to bite.
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